Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna
Chapter 8: COULROPHOBIA!
Nazz goes to Edna's house and looks for her, Nazz then hears the shower running thinking, "Edna must be taking a shower... I guess I should wait for her..."
Nazz sits on the couch, she becomes board and starts reading a issue of "Star", then she picks up her Cell Phone and calls Sarah:
Nazz: Hi Sarah!
Sarah: What's up Nazz, are you alright from yesterday?
Nazz: Yes... I'm at Edna's house, I have her glasses ready!
Sarah: That's good. So have you seen Kevin lately?
Nazz: Well I never want to see or hear from him ever again now that I know what he's like. I think Edna's getting out of the shower so I will call you back, bye nii!
Nazz hangs up her cell phone and sees Edna in her bathrobe. Edna then asks, "What's up cousin?" Nazz just giggles and hands Edna a new pair of glasses with blue frames. So Edna puts on her glasses and then she sees what appears to be May in a clown costume, upon seeing her Edna faints.
(10 minutes later)
Edna wakes up as May asks her, "Are you ok Edna? I even took off the costume used for Eddy's circus scam... his parents cut off his allowance so he had me help him make money for the Nintendo Wii.
Nazz then looks at May and says, "You actually think scamming quarters from kids would afford a Wii? It can't even afford a Nintendo DS!" May then asked "Nazz, why did Edna freak out when she saw my costume?" Nazz then says, "Umm.... you really want to know?"
Edna gets sweaty and then hears a knock at the door, Nazz opens it and sees Kevin on his knees and says, "Oh please Nazz! Please let me be your boyfriend again! I promise to never treat the dor...I mean the Eds mean ever again... I'll even take May and Edna to Townsville somehow!" Nazz coldly says to him... "leave me alone... I never want to see you again!" Kevin feels rejected and walks away while sad violin music plays in the background.
Then the Eds show up, Eddy is dressed as a ring master, Double D is dressed as a lion tamer, and Ed is dressed as a clown. Eddy then says, "Where's Edna! Her friend wanted in on our Circus scam so gotta get her for our sc... Ed where did you go?"
Edna sees Ed in his clown uniform and Shrieks and falls to the ground, in a fetal position, saying the phrase "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me" over and over. May then says, "Edna acted like that when she saw me in this costume, umm is there something Nazz didn't tell me and the other Eds?"
Nazz then says, "Actually there is... Edna is a Coulrophobic..."
Ed then says, "Well keep her away froun Kohl's! I know those stores are up to no good when they sell toothbrushes!" Eddy then says, "Ed you idiot! Coulrophobia isn't a fear of Kohl's department stores, it's a fear of...of...umm..."
Double D then adds, "Clowns, Edna has a fear of Clowns and I think Nazz is going to explain it all...
Nazz starts her story but all she needs is a flashback.....
5 year old Edna comes home after kindergarden and see her sister Emily Erma Espinoza, about to watch a movie. Enda then says, "HI BIG SIS!" Emily then says, "Yo lil sis!" Edna then asks, "Can I watch movies with you pweeeeze?" Emily then says, "Umm actually I dunno but then again why not? I'm showing "CLOWNHOUSE", "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", "IT", and "Poltergeist". Edna then says, "meh".
Edna is in a fetal position and goes "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me." Emily then says, I told you those movies are scary, but still those are just movies, clowns won't do such things ok?" Edna snaps out of it and ends up watching "Action Dastard".
Emily then says to Edna as a 6 year old, "Umm dad made you a new bed, he knows you like horror and clowns so he made you this!" Edna sees a creepy clown bed and the next morning she is in a fetal position and goes "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me."
It was Edna's 7th birthday and when she opened her first present, it was a creepy "Charlie in a Box" with a sinister looking clown's head popping out of the box, Edna falls into a in a fetal position and goes "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me."
Double D then says, "Well that explains the two clown related hints in the previous chapters...
(Flashback of chapter 1)
Ed gives everyone a jawbreaker and as Edna sucks on one she feels so sad. Double D then says, "Edna... how did you learn how to fight like that? None of us can last 5 minutes with those two!" Edna then says, "As a nerdy girl, I have to learn how to fight back in self-defence... plus Nazz and my older sister taught me those moves." Eddy then says, "Yep, Glad to have you as one of us Edna, just wait till Nazz hears about this! Umm why are you so sad?"
Edna then says, "Oh it's nothing... nothing you would understand..." Double D then says, "Actually I know what it is... you're homesick right?" Edna then slowly shakes her head and says, "I know, how about we go watch a movie?" Ed then says, "I know one... KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE!" Edna shivers a bit. Eddy then says, "How about...The Dark Knight?" Edna whimpers a bit with a tear falling from her eye. Double D then notices this and says, "How about... GRINDHOUSE! A loving tribute to 70's grindhouse movies and it's a 2 in 1 movie... "PLANET TERROR" and "THUNDERBOL..." I mean "DEATH PROOF!"
Edna happily claps her hands and says, "Yay! I'll go for that!" Eddy then says, "But my big brother just got me "The Dark Knight" as a birthday gift!" Double D then says, "We're watching "Grindhouse" and that's final... plus Edna is a new member of our group and she did save us back there!"
(Flashback of chapter 5)
Ed suddenly snaps out of it and takes the hat from Eddy and puts it on, he says to Eddy, "You are a clown!" And then Eddy puts on a red nose and acts like a clown. Edna screams and shivers in fear but then Ed hypnotizes her and says to her, "You are the Warden of Superjail!" Then Edna goes up to the now frighten Eddy dressed in a feminine version of the Warden's outfit. and says to him while making a creepy grin, "Well hello there, you're in Superjail, I'm the Warden and you are a criminal! You might not be John Wayne Gacy but you will do!
Edna snaps out of it and says, "Are the clownies gone?" Double D then says, "Yes they are Edna and don't worry, we won't tell anyone else about this and Coulrophobia is a common fear just like Eddy's peniaphobia... fear of poverty. Now let's go out and eat!"
Unaware to the others in the house, Kevin is spying at the others through a window but then something taps his shoulder and as he turns around, he sees Lee and Marie Kanker making sinister smiles. Lee then says to Kevin, "After we rough you up for no apparent reason, we're going to do alot worse to that crazy girl who thinks she's a Ed!"
Kevin makes a sinister smile too and says, "I want her pounded into ground beef too! And I know how to do it but first we need to form a alliance, put our differences aside, and get rid of Edna Together! And with Edna out of the picture we'll go back to ruining those dorks' days like we used to do!"
Kevin extends his hand and then the Kankers spits in their hands and Kevin looks at their hands and says, "Well anyway let's go get some costumes and props!
(Peach Creek Streets)
Double D, Nazz, May, and Edna go out while Ed and Eddy try to plan their next scam. When they went to the new restaurant "Burgertime", it turns out it's not finished so Double D then says, "That's too bad, let's go to McDo...uh oh!" Edna then sees a Mcdonalds and images of their clown mascot Ronald Mcdonald everywhere and she squeals in fear and shivers as she falls in a fetal position and goes "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me." Double D then says, "Ok girls this will be the only time I say this... "My bad!" Then they roll Edna on the ground as they go to a fancy italian restaurant called "Il pagliaccio triste".
Edna snaps out of it and she says, "Hey I heard this restaurant serves the best pizza here, but I wonder what the name of the restaurant is in english?" Rolf happens to be eating here and says, "Hello Female Ed-girl! If you must know, "Il pagliaccio triste" is Italian for "The Sad Clown"... yes no hello goodbye!"
Edna shivers in fear but the worst is yet to come, a audioanimatronic clown in a black and white suit and pointed hat comes out of a curtain, it starts crying and singing "Vesti La Giubba" (amazingly) sung in correct Italian...
"Recitar! Mentre preso dal delirio, non so più quel che dico, e quel che faccio! Eppur è d'uopo, sforzati! Bah! sei tu forse un uom? Tu se' Pagliaccio! Vesti la giubba, e la faccia in farina. La gente paga, e rider vuole qua. E se Arlecchin t'invola Colombina, ridi, Pagliaccio, e ognun applaudirà! Tramuta in lazzi lo spasmo ed il pianto; in una smorfia il singhiozzo il dolor, Ah! Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!"
Edna see this and well... you know what she does. So the others just roll her out of the restaurant. A newspaper flies into May's face and Nazz grabs it and says, "Oh no....Get Edna back to the house, Peach Creek is holding a Clown convention so every Bozo and Blinky will be there.
Edna snaps out of it and says as they run to her house, "Thanks guys for trying to help me snap out of this, oh and for the record, despite being scared of clowns I have no problems with Mimes or Jesters... especially Scuzzbopper!"
Sarah, Jimmy, and Johnny go up to Edna and Jimmy says to her, "You were amazing yesterday Edna, despite being "friends" with Kevin he is also a bully to me and I'd do the same if I had that boomerang once more." Sarah then says, "You should hang out with us more, you're like the most bravest one in the Cul-de-sac!" Johnny, "More braver than the hero Captain Melonhead... who isn't me at all..."
The group heads off and Edna then says, "Sorry guys but I got to get back home, I'm...uhh...missing my show!"
Double D, May, Nazz, and Edna are just on the couch talking and then as Eddy and Ed are about to return to the house, Edna decides to watch TV with her friends, but she sees the following...
1. A episode of "Batman: the animated series" with you-know-who and Harley Quinn
2. A McDonalds Commercial
3. A episode of ONE PIECE where Luffy fights Buggy the Clown
4 "House of a 1,000 Corpses"
5. a episode of "the big comfty couch"
6. "Shakes the Clown"
7. a episode of Darkwing Duck with villian Quackerjack
8. a old WWF wrestling match with Doink the Clown
9. A episode of DIGIMON where the digidestined fight Piedmon
But then Edna is relieved that she's watching "Challenge of the Super-friends" and says "cool! Even though Joker isn't in the "Legion of doom" Riddler and Scarecrow are... but then she freaks out when she sees Toyman (he looks like a clown)
Eddy then says "I had enough of this! (opens door) HEY EDNA!, YOU GOT TO GET OVER THIS RIDICULOUS FEAR OF CLOWNS! Edna then replies angerly, "Who are you calling ridicu-mous? Well, what about your fear of Poverty? Eddy then suddenly falls to the floor and shivers, saying "Double D told you about that?"
Edna then replies, "You gotta believe me, Eddy! The clowns are nothing but ultimate evil! They want to be the dominate species on the planet, and they'll destroy us all to make it happen!! DESTROY US ALL!!! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!Oh look, I found a quarter... um I mean DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!
As she says this she covers herself in what appears to be oranges, Eddy asks Edna "Now what's with all the oranges? Edna replies "They're not oranges, they're "tangellos". Double D replies "Okay, what's with all the tangelos?" And Edna replies "Clowns hate tangellos. Messes with their equilibrium."
Ed then says "Tangellos give me rashes!" Nazz then replies, "TMI!" May then asks Edna, "If you're so scared of clowns, how are you able to read "One Piece"? Edna then says, "I just ignore the arcs with Buggy the Clown in it such as the Buggy arc, the mini-Buggy arc, the Rougetown arc, and the Impel Down arc." Double D then says, "Perhaps if we give Edna time that fear would eventually go away in it's own." He says this as Edna goes to the kitchen for some milk.
Then Ed looks outside and sees a trailer from out of nowhere and a sign on it reads "FREE TRAILER". Ed smiles in delight and shouts, "FREE TRAILER!" Then Eddy, Double D, Nazz, and May then can't believe their eyes and go for the "Free Trailer" offer. They all go inside the trailer but then they hear sinister laughter and the trailer is bolted shut on the outside.
Double D then says, "I must be a fool to fall for the "free trailer" offer." Nazz then replies, "We all are, if this was a trap then....OH NO.... COUSIN EDNA!!!"
Meanwhile, Edna comes out of the kitchen, drinking a glass of milk. She looks around and yells out, "Hello! Cousin Nazz? May? Eds?" Then she hears the sound of squeaking shoes and the squeaking got louder. As Edna sits down, a pair of gloved hands grabs her shoulders and yells out, "GUESS WHO!"
Edna gets up and to her horror... IT'S MARIE KANKER IN A CLOWN SUIT!" Edna walked back, and bumps into Lee Kanker in a clown suit and she grabs her. Lee then says to her, "Our "Silent Partner" told us this is the one thing you fear and now we're getting our revenge for taking May from us, protecting the Eds from us, and doing stuff to our trailer at the end of every chapter!" Edna sweatdrops and shivers in fear as the worst is yet to come.
Kevin shows up with a baseball bat and says to Edna, "You were the dork (don't laugh) that made Nazz see me what I was like and so I like lost her... YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" As Kevin swings his bat, Edna ducks and Lee is pounded by the bat instead while Edna escapes.
Edna runs around the house screaming "THE CLOWNIES CAME AND TOOK AWAY MY NAKAMA!" Marie pops out of nowhere and shouts, "I'm a clown....laugh! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Edna then slides under her legs and runs to the bathroom and locks herself.
Kevin then shouts, "Come out of there you dork! You got to get out of there eventally... Ok Lee I did my part now you two get your sister. Marie then says, "You're awesome Kevin... on and sorry for the whole destroy your roof thing, we were going to use it to destroy Edna's house...we swear!" Kevin then says as he tries to hold in his anger, "I believe you, besides I'm glad there's someone else here who has a grudge against her too! She kept protecting the Eds and kept saying I have a bald spot the size of my butt under my hat. Lee then takes off his hat and says, "Whoa, Edna was right!" Kevin then says, "Knock it off and go get your sister, I'll pound that do...I mean Edna when she gets out of there.
As Kevin continues to rant and wait for Edna to leave the bathroom, her inner self enters a world in her dreams called "Spring Valley" and she sees what appears to be a "purple flying jester" flying in the sky and "her inner magical girl" (what are you expecting...a inner fratboy?") her inner magical girl is really Kaoru Matsubara/ Powered Buttercup from "Powerpuff Girls Z".
Buttercup says to her "Hi... I'm your inner magical girl" Edna says "Wow! I didn't know I had one...you're so cool! Buttercup then says "Well every girl has one, I heard you have problems with clowns and your friends aren't doing a thing about it... well do I have help for you! Anyway clowns aren't scary... except from that one from "IT" and John Wayne Gacy. Oh no...they're really different from us... and even though they look different, doesn't mean you're afraid of them." Edna then says "Actually the real reason why I'm afraid of clowns is because (whispers it in Buttercup's ears)" Buttercup replies "OH WOW! That's messed up! But those aren't real clowns! Well anyway it means you should be angry at them for being different.. now go and save your friends... that reminds me, they should be "anime-ized" too like me and the other Powerpuff Girls..."
Edna then wakes up and then she pulls out a the ultimate weapon... a board with a nail on it. She opens the door says in a demented way as she twitches her left eye just to creep out Kevin, "Oh look! funny clown..."
Meanwhile, Marie and Lee open the "free trailer" and successfully grab May. The others just laugh at their costumes but then Double D then says, "Oh no... I know why you're wearing that! What did you do to Edna?" Lee then says, "Nothing... that's Kevin's job AHAHAHA!"
But then the two see Edna chasing a bruised up Kevin with a board and nail on it, Edna then shouts while imitating Happy Gilmore, "YOU'RE GONNA DIE CLOWN!"
Lee and Marie's eyes perk up and Lee then says, "Just grab May and go, RUN!" They just do that while Kevin hides in the bushes. Edna goes after the two and when Edna caught up with them Lee then says, "Before you clobber us there is one thing we got to say... Kevin put us up to it!" Lee and Marie just drop May and run up a tree and hide up there.
May opens the trailer and lets Nazz and the Eds out. Eddy then sees the two Kankers up the tree and yells at them, "AHAHAHAHA! SERVES YOU RIGHT! Eddy was about to throw a rock at the two but Edna grabs the rock and says, "No... they had enough already, let's go home.
The Simpsons comes on and it was the episode "Krusty gets Cancelled" Edna watches it and finds it funny... but everyone else is shocked. May then says, "Umm Edna... are you still afraid of clowns?" Edna then says, "Well they still freak me out but my inner magical girl tells me I shouldn't be afraid of them." Nazz then asks, "Then why are you ok with watching the Simpsons with Krusty?" Edna then says, "It's cuz Krusty's funny, he's a Simpsons character... everyone likes the Simpsons! Even Ed does!"
Ed accidentally drops his bowl of gravy on the floor and says, "D'OH!"
NEXT TIME: Edna and May meet a new friend... and the gang has to stop Ed and Eddy from their next scam... Eddy performs extremely stupid stunts for that show on MTV and tries to submit the video to MTV, can they save him before he gets critically injured? find out next time!