Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna
Chapter 9: Eddy's making a JACKASS out of himself!
A day after the "clown incident", Edna and May are left with a "free trailer" the Kankers and Kevin used as bait for the others. May asks Edna, "Umm what are we going to do with that trailer?" Edna replies, "I have no idea but my dad's friend who happens to be a police officer told him that if no one returns to claim for the trailer, then it might as well be ours, I bet it would look good with my older sister's pickup truck.
Then they noticed someone looking at the "free trailer", it was a girl who appears to be the same age as the four Eds. She wears glasses similar to Edna's but red, has short blue hair in a style similar to Nazz's. She wears a black shirt and a plaid skirt, and appears to be a bit shorter than Edna and May.
Edna asks her, "Umm may we help you?" The girl appears to be shocked and says to Edna, "Hey wait... you can see me? You mean you guys can really see me?" Edna replies, "Well you're not invisible and definatly not a ghost because we don't allow them in this fanfic! "Grim-Eds" yes but definately not here!" May then asks the girl, "Why are you talking like that?"
The girl frowns a bit and says, "I feel invisible already, no body notices me here, not even on the day I moved from Lemon Brook, I try to make friends but what's the point, everyone ignores me." Edna and May look at eachother and Edna then tells her, "You know... you can hang out with us anytime you want, oh my name is Edna Esmeralda Espinosa and this is my BFF 4 life May Kanker. The girl seems nervous but Edna asks for her name and she replies, "My name is Rachel Carlyle, and... I guess I'm glad to meet you all."
Edna says to Rachel, "You look kinda like me." And Rachel responds, "Well you look like "Ugly Betty"... and not in a bad way." Edna replies, "I get that alot, oh and is the trailer yours?" Rachel replies, "Nope, I was just interested in it." May then says to Edna, "Since the "free trailer" is ours then what would we do with it?" Edna replies, "Well we can make it our clubhouse until big sister decides she can use it, I wonder how the Kankers got it.
Before it continues, The three see a stressed out Double D who shouts at Edna, "EDNA! WE GOT TO STOP THEM!" Edna looks confused and Double D shouts out, "WE GOT TO STOP EDDY'S SCAM!" May then says, "Nuh uh! If I ruin his scam, he will be prejudiced towards me again for being a Kanker." Double D then says, "No May, he is doing insane cockamamie stunts while Ed tapes it, he says he's going to send the videotape to MTV networks for this show called "Jackbutt".
May's eyes perk up and says, "Oh no... EDDY'S TRYING OUT FOR "MTV'S JACKASS"! Edna then asks May, "You watch "MTV's Jackass"?" May then says, "That show was funny... like the time Steve-O..." Double D then says, "May sorry to say but I don't think I should hear about what those guys do, it's just wrong!" Edna asks, "Is cousin Nazz going to help us get that potential Jackass out of trying on that show?" Double D then says, "I just came from there, it turns out she picked up a sever case of hay fever so it's up to me, you, May...Who are you?" Double D notices Rachel.
Edna then says, "This is Rachel.... she moved from Lemon Brook, she would like to make some friends." Rachel then says, "Much as I don't know you guys much, I think I should help you stop your friend from making a jackass out of himself on "MTV's Jackass"
And with that the four run to wherever Eddy's at.
(In another part of town)
Eddy looks at the camera and says, "This is Eddy and I'm giving this cat a tasty treat!" As Ed films this, Eddy picks up a cat, lifts up his shirt and the cat proceeds to bite his nipple and he starts running around screaming and then manages to get rid of the cat while Ed is laughing at this.
Then Eddy sees Sarah and Jimmy playing dolls and Sarah then yells at Eddy, "Get out of here, we're not in the mood for your scamming you stupid head!" Eddy replies, "Actually I'm not going to scam, I'm going to PARTY!" And with that Eddy takes off his clothes, revealing himself wearing nothing but a speedo and starts dancing as Ed plays techno music on a boombox. Sarah find this disurbing while Jimmy was watching him and Sarah grabs him and leaves.
Ed sneaks behind Johnny 2x4 and pulls out a electric razor and as "Psycho" music plays in the background, Ed quicky shaves Johnny on the back and he says, "Hey Ed that feels good, too bad I don't have hair to be shaved off, Plank want you to have a quarter!" Johnny then gives Ed a quarter and Ed then says, "Thank you Plank!"
Eddy sees Edna, Double D, May, and Rachel going for him and Eddy then says, "Oh no, they're going to ruin this scam, quick Ed, to your house!" And with that, Ed puts Eddy in a shopping cart and he jumps in as well. Eddy then steers the shopping cart while Ed videotapes it.
Ed hears noises in the Kitchen and he finds a hole on the wall, he looks into it and asks, "Any mice in there? Then a bunch of multi-colored tiny creatures then shout in unison, "NOBODY HERE BUT US FRAGGLES YOU SILLY CREATURE!" Then they start to sing...
"Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Ro..."
Ed then says, "Bye bye Smurfs!" Eddy then says, "Smurfs? Where? (looks at hole) Oh those are just Fraggles, they're worthless! Then one of them tosses a radish at Eddy, knocking him out.
Eddy wakes up 5 minutes later and does another stunt, Eddy says to Ed's Camera, "This is Eddy and I'm going to jump for joy!" Eddy jumps into a trampoline and he hits a fan and falls into the floor in pain. After that he goes "Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes) Ahh!! (sszzzes)"
(Congrats to the Family Guy fans who got the joke!)
Then suddenly, May, Rachel, Edna, and Double D open the door to Ed's house and Edna shouts, "THERE YOU ARE! Don't you know that MTV doesn...."
Eddy then shows up in a clown costume while Ed tapes the whole thing. Eddy then says, "I'm Eddy and I'm going to perform community service as a clown." Then Eddy runs around making demonic laughter and throws pies at Edna's faces and tells them that his name is "Pennywise". Edna falls into a fetal position and goes "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep, clowns will eat me..."
Double D then says, "I know you're trying to look very unintelligent for that lowbrow show but it gives you no right to..." Eddy then hits Double D with a sock and says I dont think so, Eddy dont play that! Rachel thinks to herself, "He's cute... I'd date him if he wasn't that stupid".
Eddy looks at May and then says, "I GOT IT! C'mon Lumpy we're going to the trailer park!" Eddy throws a smoke bomb to the ground and as the smoke clears up they just see Ed and Eddy exit the front door.
(Park n Flush Trailer Park)
Eddy says to Ed on his camera, "This is Eddy and I'm going to make the Kankers beat the snot out of me!"
He shouts at the top of his lungs,
(PLEASE, DO NOT ATTEMPT!)
Then Lee and Marie show up and says, "Oh you are just asking for it! After I beat you up I will kiss your booboos better."
Eddy then says as he makes a huge grin, "Hey Kankers... want to know the difference between me and you... AT LEAST I KNOW WHO MY DAD IS!" Eddy braced himself for the beating and then to his suprise... Lee and Marie burst into tears and they wailed as they ran to their trailer.
Eddy then looks distraught as the stunt didn't work and he says to Ed, "Ok Ed shut off the tape, we got enough footage anyway! But at least I made the Kankers cry!" Hey wait I got another idea and be better do it fast, I see Edna's group coming after us!"
Eddy sneaks out of there giggling and then Kevin goes inside his garage to ride his bike but then the minute he starts it up, he discovers the wheels on his bike are decorated with firecrackers and then the firecrackers set off, blowing up and a "piccolo pete" flies up and lands on Kevin's hat, burning it to a crisp. Jimmy sees this and says, "Wow, Edna's right, you do have a bald spot the size of your bu..." Kevin replies, "Not a word "Fluffy"!"
Ed and Eddy then laugh and Eddy says to Ed, This is perfect, now to send it in and soon we'll be on MTV!"
(2 Weeks later, also Edna's friends are properly introduced to Rachel...except for Eddy whom is very occupied with his latest scam)
Eddy is very very very disappointed...
Ed, Double D, Edna, May, Nazz and Rachel show up at Eddy's house to see if his "scam" worked. Rachel stands infront of him and says to him, "Hi, I'm Rachel!" Eddy then ignores her and as Edna asks, "So.... what did you learn?" Eddy then blurts out, "I just discovered MTV does NOT accept videos from Jackass fans in hopes of discouraging fans from making total jackasses out of themselves, and I think we said "Jackass" way to much in this chapter... good thing this fanfic has a "T" rating.
Edna then notices a dejected Rachel and then Edna clobbers Eddy with a pillow, "That was for putting yourself in danger for no apparent reason!", she clobbers him again, "And that is for ignoring our new friend Rachel for two weeks!!" Eddy then says, "Ummm... hello... my name is Eddy." Rachel just giggles and hugs him.
Then everyone hears a knock at Eddy's door, It was Lee Kanker, Marie Kanker, and Kevin. Lee then says, "Relax Edna, we're here for Eddy, we found out what he was doing two weeks ago!" Marie finds him and grabs him and goes. The others just watch Eddy get pummeled by Kevin, Lee, and Marie Kanker because of all the things they did to them during his "MTV Jackass scam"
Eddy then gets pummeled and she shouts at Edna, "HELP ME!" Edna then yells out, "IF I HELP YOU, THEN YOU WON'T LEARN!" Nazz then says to Edna, "You know you have a good point, if Eddy keeps doing dumb things then stuff like this will happen to him." Ed replies, "Not even I'm that dumb Edna!" May then says to Ed, "But Ed you were the one with the camera!" Rachel then says, "Umm I'm just going to help him when he's had enough...."
After all that was over, Kevin just goes home and the two Kankers just leave, then Lee realizes that they could easily have revenge on Edna but since they were at the trailer they decide to call it a day.
(10 pm, at the Kanker trailer)
Marie and Lee are in the trailer planning revenge on Edna and trying to claim May back as well as their "boyfriends" but then they hear something outside their trailer. The two sneak out of the trailer all stealth-like, but then Marie pounces on the intruder, only to be knocked into the trailer wall. The two see three mysterious girls in the shadows and they appear to be smoking, and making evil laughs.
Lee then says, "Edna I know that's you and May and the weird girl who has been coming here and vandalizing our trailer, come on out!"
One of the girls then says, "We would be more intimidating if you don't know what we look like hee hee hee ha ha ha!" the other girl says, "We are not who you think we are, we are actually from the neighboring town of Lemon Brook and we were declared the most despicable group of girls to rock the neighborhood but then you three came along and threaten the title. The third girl grabs Lee and shouts, "AND WE DON'T LIKE COMPETITION! NO ONE'S BADDER THAN US!! EVER!"
Lee backs off and she says, "Hey Marie, they have the guts to tell us they are worse than us, I say we fight them off!" Marie then says, "Oh boy, a rumble! I'm so going to enjoy pummeling you three with my bare fists!" Then the girls leave the shadows and reveal themselves to be three blonde haired 11 year olds with cigarettes in their mouths (DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!) and they carry boards with nails on it. The leader of the girls then says, "Before we pound you into a coma let me introduce ourselves, you can call us...THE KILLER SISTERS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
In 15 seconds flat, the Killer Sisters have totally brutally pounded Lee and Marie Kanker. The leader then says, "If you want to live then do us a favor... give up your title for most notorious group of girls in the area and if you two try to upstage us once again then you will know more than what a "hertz' donut" is! As the Killers leave the trailer park, one of them kicks Marie on the side and the three just laugh about what they did.
TO BE CONTINUED!