Total Drama SUPERJAIL

Total Drama SUPERJAIL!

By Winter Knight

((Episode 1: Let's go to Jail))

One day, Jackknife goes to "one of those stores" and steals a boxset of "Girls Gone Wild part 69 but then Jailbot grabs him from underground and flies away, however Jackknife notices Jailbot is also carrying a teenaged asian girl in a red top and shorts. Jackknife drools and makes strange sounds as he looks at her cleavage and then the girl slaps him with her free hand and says, "Knock it off you perv!" Soon they fly over a strange horizon and the song "Coming Home" by the Cheeseburgers is playing in the background as they enter a cloud shaped like the Warden through it's "mouth".

Jailbot then drops Jackknife into the slot where inmates go while Heather is dumped into a dark room she discovers that isn't the only one trapped in this filthy bathroom, She sees Gwen, Trent, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Bridgette, Beth, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Geoff, Harold, and Tyler also there. They have no idea why a flying robot brought them them but Heather then says, "I bet Chris is up to this, Chris come out of here wherever you are!"

She sees Chris Mclean and Chef Hatchet also captured and Chris then says to Heather, "No I'm not, this isn't cool, just where are we and why are we here?

They see a TV monitor and it suddenly turns on and they see what looks like "Billy" but in a purple suit with a yellow undershirt, a traditional red bow tie, gray gloves, a purple top hat, and wide yellow sunglasses. The puppet then says to them, "Hello campers... Let's play a game!" Everyone seems nervous then Eva shouts, "WHAT KIND OF GAME IS IT YOU SICK WEIRDO?" The puppet then responds, "A game called... TOTAL...DRAMA...SUPERJAIL!"

The puppet master is revealed to be a man with a gap tooth, wearing a purple suit with a yellow undershirt, a traditional red bow tie, gray gloves, a purple top hat, and wide yellow sunglasses. The strange looking man then says, "Well hello there! You're in Superjail, I'm the Warden and you're all my "criminals"!"

Lindsay then says, "Mr. Willy Wonka, why did you send us to this dirty bathroom instead of your chocolate factory?" Warden frowns and says, "Yeah I get that alot... Well anyway I'm a fan of your show Mr. Mclean but...I thought to make your show more interesting and my Superjail more fantastic...BY HOSTING YOUR SHOW ON MY JAIL!" So I will act as host and you and your friend will be campers!

Chris has cannot believe what he is hearing and then Duncan asks, "Ok you Willy Wonka wannabe...what exactly is "Superjail" and how is it different from "Juvie"?" Warden frowns again and says, "Never mention "Juvie" or "real prison" around me! Then Jared, the Warden's assistant blurbs out, "They never work do they sir?" Warden then tells the campers, "When my Father the prison mogul left me his entire legacy, I swore to perfect the art of incarceration, but the world isn't ready for my methods... so I went outside the system and created SUPERJAIL!" Beth looks outside and sees a happy looking rainbow prison and says, "So is this some chocolate factory or a prison that seems eerily cheerful?"

The Warden then says, "Not quite, often something happens and it ends with the bloodshed of my prisoners, there's one now!" And the campers see horrible scenes of bloodshed in the cafeteria and only Eva, Owen, and Lashawna vomit after seeing that and Chef Hatchet then says, "Man this is bringing back memories..."

Warden notices Beth and he says, "You don't belong here so I'm voting you off imediately!" Jailbot then places Beth in a rocket and shoots her out of Superjail, unaware that Jackknife just hitched a ride on the rocket to freedom. The Warden continues, "Yes this is the best prison complex in all of Dimension 5612, so strange is normal here and normal is strange here oh isn't it lovely? Heather then tells Izzy, "You know all those times I thought you were crazy...I apologize, I just met crazy!"

The Warden then jumps out of the TV and says, "Now it's time to divide the teams and to identify who's in what team, I have special prison uniforms for you all...let's see... the first team is:

Screaming Bunnies (in bunny suits)

Chris Mclean

Gwen

Trent

Heather

Izzy

Leshawna

Lindsay

Owen

And here's the second team...

Killer Wolves (In Wolf suits)

Chef Hatchet

Bridgette

DJ

Duncan

Eva

Geoff

Harold

Tyler

Alice the guard shows up and pulls out boxes of wolf suits and bunny suits and says to the campers in a deep voice, "Ok, Ladies, here are the uniforms, put them on and go to your assigned cells... except for you "Chef", Mommy needs some soup!" Chef Hatchet seems extremely nervous by Alice's advances.

The Warden then says, "Oh and whoever is left standing in the game will win $15,000,000,000,000,000 and 69 cents" However if any of you somehow leave the grounds you are voted off automatically. Jared is shocked and says, "But Sir we can't afford prize money that huge!" Warden then says, "Well I need to give the campers their money's worth of suffering and the dangers of what happens in Superjail...also we'll be multi-multi-multi-multi-millionares once this show becomes a smash hit...The game starts...NOW!"

Bridgette then says, "I do not like where this is going, isn't there like a ladies prison?" Alice then growls at Brigette and says, "Yes, It's called "Ultraprison" and I don't want to talk about it!" DJ seems frightened by this and says, "I'm so terrified but anything for the prize money!" Owen is so scared of the idea of prison that he farts...and Heather is right behind him.

Duncan then pulls out a picture of Courtney and says, "I've survived Juvie but will I survive this "Superjail"?... I'm glad you're not here... This place isn't meant for you."

Chris Mclean then says to the other campers, "You know guys, I think I somehow deserve this for all the things I did back in Camp Wawanakwa." Harold then says, "Oh you think? Idiot!"

Unaware by everyone, the Twins view all this happening and one of the twins says to the other, "Looks like this show... needs audience participation." Then they laugh sinisterly.

((Episode 2: Nightmare Cafeteria))

Jackknife goes to a internet cafe and tries to view pictures of Heather and he gets so excited that he is about to unzip his pants and grumbles happily must to everyone around him. But then the computer morphs into Jailbot and it's claw grabs Jackknife by the crotch and they fly over a strange horizon and the song "Coming Home" by the Cheeseburgers is playing in the background as they enter a cloud shaped like the Warden through it's "mouth".

Chris Mclean is in a bunny suit and says, "You know dudes, I think I just heard my dignity breathe it's last breath." Gwen who is also in a bunny suit then says to Chris, "You and me both but that prize money is so going to be worth it." Leshawna than says to Gwen, "Aww it might not be that bad girl, I feel alot cuter in this bunny suit, but I cannot help wondering whatever happened to the other campers and why they didn't make it. Owen isn't wearing a bunny suit because they couldn't find one his size so he wears bunny ears and a piece of cotton is glued to his shorts and he hops around with Izzy and says, "Owen's a bunny and I go hippy hop hippy hop, Owen sees Lindsay, Own pets Lindsay, Lindsay goes sleepy bye, Owen goes hippy hop hippy hop!" Lindsay wakes up from her nap and looks for Tyler.

The Warden appears before them in a rainbow and as he taps his cane and does a little dance, he explains to them, "Well Lashawna, I heard you and I will explain everything. You, Killer Bunnies and them, the Wolves were chosen very carefully by myself of course but the following couldn't make make it, they can't even survive my establishment. I don't know why Jailbot took Beth with him but here are the ones who didn't make it for obvious reasons.

Katie: Too girly for this prison, she has a chance in Ultraprison.

Sadie: Same as Katie.

Cody: Too weak, as well as being white and nerdy.

Justin: He would be passed around inmates like a issue of Playboy.

Noah: You guys don't like him and neither do I. Maybe I should've brought him here.

Courtney: She does not look like the type that should be in Superjail nor Ultraprison.

That homeschooled kid: Not only do I remember his name but...he's homeschooled, Superjail isn't for him!

And now you know and Knowing is half the battle!" Lindsay asks, "But Mr. Wonka what's the other half?" Warden then says, "Violence of course? Now it's time for breakfast at the cafeteria with the other team... and my inmates. Bon appite!"

The Screaming Bunnies then wait in line for food and join up with the Killer Wolves. Duncan tells Harold, "Hey nerd, I gotta take a dump that can choke a monkey, save my spot!" And with that, Harold just lets Bridgette ahead of him and Bridgette asks, "Umm I wonder what the bathrooms in this prison look like. Harold just shrugs.

Duncan enters the men's room and sees some naked men playing twister then he goes to the women's room and as he enters a stall he sees a goofy-looking audio animatronic Warden head that says, "AHYUK! The warden says "When you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat!" Duncan is freaked out and thinks to himself, "Man, I had it easy back in Juvie"

After everyone is served, Chef Hatchet then starts eating the eggs and says to himself, "Man this feels like eating my own cooking...but much worse!" Then Alice sits next to him and says, "So Chef you used to work in "real jail"?" Chef nods and then Alice says, "Well if that food tastes like (bleep) then how about eating some of this?" Alice flashes Chef and Chef holds in his vomit. Bridgette finds it hard to dine here because she is a vegetarian and all so she just drinks the water.

Geoff gets a loaf of bread and decides to pass it to Tyler far across the cafeteria, Geoff tosses it and because he sucks at sports, he misses it and it hits a inmate in the head, causing him to stab another inmate in the eye, then another inmate stabs another inmate in the heart with a knife and eats it. The campers are hiding under the table while the carnage happens.

However Jackknife takes the opportnity to grab Heather and tries to run off only to be grabbed by Alice and used as a bat to batter a inmate senseless. Then all of a sudden, hundreds of acts of violence just happens in the prison and the campers are horrified by this and Chris goes to the confessional but discovers the Warden hasn't made a confession room yet so he goes to the women's restroom and tells the readers, "If anyone get this, I'm so...sorry... very...very...sorry...for all the stuff I did back at Camp Wawanakwa."

The Twins teleport to the cafeteria and sees all the mindless destruction in the cafeteria and they talk amonst themselves:

Twin 1: Looks like someone started a riot without our involvment.

Twin 2: Perhaps they ran out of coffee.

Twin 1: Would you like to make a Everest out of a mountain?

Twin 2: Looks good to me!

The twins teleport next to Eva, grab her, then teleport her to a air vent above the cells.

Eva is then dropped into a room full of inmates and then they surround her and one of them says, "Check out the new meat, he's got some meat on them bones!" Then they notice she has breasts and another inmate says, "Hey he has those things Alice has, what were they called again? "Bodacious beef bazookas?" Eva is getting very angry and grabs a inmate and snaps his back and shouts, "I AM A WOMAN!" The gay inmate says to his partner, "Looks like the Mistress sent us a inmate from Ultraprison as revenge, let's get out of here!" As the two gay inmates escape, Eva is so angry she starts a bloodbath with the frightened inmates in the room. The violence in this scene is much more violent than what happened in chapter 1 through 6 of "Ed, Edd, n Eddy Zombies"

Alice sees this and says, "I think I met my match, someone stop her! She's killing my "men"." Warden then looks at the Killer Wolves and looks back at Eva's rampage and says, "You know, maybe she should be ejected from Superjail, her temper is far more worse than Alice. Then Jailbot manages to place Eva in a rocket and shoots her out of Superjail, unaware that Jackknife just escaped through the huge hole Eva left after her rampage.

Warden then says, "I hope the rest of you behave otherwise we won't have ceremonies and marshmallows to pass around. Chef Hatchet escapes through the hole in the wall as well, shouting, "I RATHER BE BACK IN THE NAVY THAN DEAL WITH THAT HE SHE! AND THIS INSANE PRISON!" Alice then says, "NO, PLEASE, DON'T DISQUALIFY YOURSELF! BE MY MAN!" The Warden watches this and says, "Tsk tsk tsk, no one likes a quitter, so far we lost 2 contestants I hope we don't lose any more until the next chapter.

(Later that night)

Tyler is just chilling out in his cell with Geoff, But then the Twins slip a flock of chickens into his cell. Due to his fear of chickens he faints. Warden sees this and and as Jailbot escorts him out of Superjail and into a hospital in the real world he shouts, "AW DAMMIT!"

((Final Episode: The Werewolves of Camp Wawanakwa))

Ezekiel was out looking for moose back in his homeland but then all of a sudden he bumps into a strange looking moose... IT WAS JACKKNIFE WEARING MOOSE ANTLERS! Jackknife grumbles something and pulls out a picture of Heather and Ezekiel then says, "Dude, like I have no idea where that jerk is, just what do you want with her Eh?" Jackknife then makes more excited grunting sounds.

But then a Caribou that runs by gets slashed up by Jailbot and then Jackknife panics and then he breaks a bottle of beer and holds the jagged edge towards Ezekiel's neck. Jackknife fires a laser beam at the bottle and grabs Jackknife and beats him to a pulp. Then for some unknown reason Jailbot grabs Ezekiel as well and Soon they fly over a strange horizon and the song "Coming Home" by the Cheeseburgers is playing in the background as they enter a cloud shaped like the Warden through it's "mouth".

Ezekiel falls into a chute and it lands in a cell.

The cast are still shivering in their cells after another night of horror in Superjail. Then Jailbot shows up and a television screen in HD appears on it's body. The Warden's image appears and says to the "prisoners", "Good morning everyone! Today is our talent show contest, so be prepared everyone! Oh and I decided to recruit the "home school kid!"

Everyone is disappointed that Ezekiel landed on the same cell as Bridget.

(Soon)

The Warden has the Screaming Bunnies go first to entertain the audience of prisoners in the talent show.

Chris goes first and says to the audience, "Ok, my act will be called, "pleading for my life... PLEASE OH PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS SUPER LOONEY CRAZY WACKO PSYCHOPATHIC VICIOUS JAIL!"

Then Trent performs the song "Coming Home" by the Cheeseburgers in his own way. The Warden applads and Trent kisses Gwen and says to her, "I figured he's like it, good luck in the show!"

Gwen draws a picture and it shows a donkey that resembles the Warden. The Warden responds by saying, "Say that sounds like a good idea, I should call Doctor and splice my genes with that with a donkey and create a supply of donkeys to do some work in Superjail...Owen you're next!"

Owen manages to drink a entire bottle of cola and belch the ABCs in one belch.

Heather performs ballet. Before Heather is about to read from Gwen's diary again, Jackknife tries to reach out and fondle her but Jailbot arrives and restrains Jackknife, electricuting him.

Soon the others had their turn and the Killer Wolves team is about to participate.

But before the Killer Wolves' are about to perform in the talent show, the Twins somehow contaminated the Killer Wolves' supply of Root Beer.

Twin 1: Like I said... this show needs audience participation!

Twin 2: Things will get a bit hairy for the team...

Both: Instant lycanthoropy Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

But when Bridgette, DJ, Duncan, Geoff, and Harold got into the root beer, they suddenly grow fur and fangs. Harold then says, "Gosh, I feel like that dude from "Twilight"... and the inmates must be vampires..."

Harold then howls and so does Bridgette. Soon the four wolves then jump out of the curtains and they tear the inmates apart with their fangs. Soon the prison is in lockdown and therefore Alice has no way of breaking in to stop the carnage.

Jackknife then sees Heather being chased by DJ the werewolf. Jackknife growls and then kicks DJ away and grabs Heather as they make their getaway. Heather then says, "I know know who you are but thank you for saving me, is there a way I can reward you?"

Jackknife drools and then unzips his pants. Heather then quickly kicks him in the "ding ding" and soon she finds herself outside of Superjail grounds and is automatically ejected from Superjail... and Jackknife's pants is caught on the rocket's tail.

Ezekiel is running for his life but then his shirt is ripped off and he crashes into a container of sparkle dust. Then Duncan the werewolf sees Ezekiel's bare chest is sparkling in the lights and shouts, "VAMPIRE!" Then Duncan pounces on Ezekiel but before he can do anything, Jailbot flies up to him and hits him with a newspaper until he runs off.

DJ just pounces on Chris and mauls him to death as if it's no big thing.

Geoff and Bridgette then look at eachother in a lovingly way. Gwen, Trent, and Lindsay see this and they go, "Awww..." But then the three see the two doing something that makes Lindsay say, "Hey that reminds me of the time on "Animal Planet" where the two wolves were mat..." Gwen covers Lindsay's mouth and she and Trent go "Ewww..."

Soon a figure in a purple suit with a yellow undershirt, a traditional red bow tie, gray gloves, a purple top hat, and wide yellow sunglasses shows up and fires darts at DJ, Bridgette, Geoff, Duncan, and Harold, turning them back to normal.

Bridgette comes to and feels queasy as she says to Geoff, "Eww... I just ate some inmates! Just Ewww!"

Then the figure who is dressed like the Warden is seen holding the Warden's decapitated head.

Gwen then says, "Oh no... how can this be?"

The figure is really Cody dressed as the Warden!

Warden Cody then says, "I went mad after I couldn't participate in this game... so I broke in and had the Warden killed and now I inherit Superjail... you will be mine and this jail will run like clockwork...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh and I'm the winner of the $15,000,000,000,000,000 and 69 cents prize so there!"

And soon it turns out to be a horrible nightmare as "Obsessive Uber-fan" Sierra wakes up screaming.

Sierra then clutches on her custom made Cody plushie and thinks to herself, "My sweet Cody couldn't possibly do this, and there is no way the next season of "Total Drama" can take place there! I need to stop reading Total Drama "crack-fics". Oh well I need some sleep to see my sweetie on the set of "Total Drama World Tour"

And so Sierra falls asleep... however later that night, Jailbot appears in her window with a creepy LCD smile on his face.

THE END... OR IS IT?